Fine, you might not need all eight, but just in case your social calendar is covered in blue, white, and gold next week, we put them together anyway. So, whether you're going to a friend's house, your in-laws', or anywhere in between, we've got (at least) one non-cheesy Hanukkah look for you.
Scroll through to see and shop each night's outfit!
I have had a close friend for 20 years. Our husbands have been friends since kindergarten; we double-dated in college. Eventually, our husbands returned to their hometown to start a business together. We live a street away from them, and our children are best friends, too. A year ago, my friend and I hit a bump in our relationship. I was sure we would weather it with some distance and time. But then a couple more incidents cropped up with our children; now, feelings are hurt. We both reach out, but seem to feel conciliatory at different times, so we are not mended. What do we do?
ANONYMOUS
We all get crabby now and then, and a little space can be a big boon for folks who seem to spend as much time together as you and your pal. I'm sorry it hasn't done the trick. Given your statement about ill-timed conciliatory gestures, let's also assume both of you have made sincere apologies.
That leaves you with an option to be used only sparingly: the dramatic gesture. Make a mixtape (or playlist, as non-ancient people under 400 call them) that celebrates your friendship. Include "Together Wherever We Go" from "Gypsy," "You've Got a Friend in Me" from "Toy Story," and The White Stripes' terrific "We're Going to be Friends." Add more, to taste, then deliver to your old pal with an invitation for a girls' night out.
Continue reading the main storyIf the sheer silliness (mixed with the big-heartedness) of your gift does not snap your friend back into the saddle with you, it's hard to imagine what will. A few thoughts: Don't use your first date to rehash the past. Get back on solid ground first. You may need to establish new ground rules for your friendship eventually. But it takes 20 years to make 20-year friendships. We can't afford to be careless with them.
Work PresentsOnce a week, I volunteer at a hotline for women's health issues. It has been the highlight of my year. Now that we are approaching the holidays, I would like to give gifts to the people I work with. I'm not sure whether a group present or small, individual gifts is more fitting. Any thoughts about this?
< p class="story-body-text story-content" data-para-count="9" data-total-count="2109" itemprop="articleBody">ANONYMOUSLadies and gentlemen, may I present an actual in-context use of the title "Hotline Bling"! Volunteering can be so enriching; props to you and your organization for helping each other. When I've worked at hotlines, the volunteers often shift from week to week. And nothing makes (some) people more uncomfortable than unexpected and unreciprocated gifts.
Bring something for the group. A special food or drink, maybe. If that feels insufficient, consider a thank-you gift to the person who heads up the volunteer program (perhaps a donation to the organization in his or her name). But don't stress about this. You're alrea dy doing plenty.
Matching RingsMy mother got engaged recently, and her engagement ring looks exactly like mine. It's an uncommon style, so I don't think it's a coincidence. We have a difficult relationship, and I often let her hurtful behavior pass without comment. But I feel like this crosses the line. How can I discuss this without seeming petty?
MAEGAN, CALIFORNIA
Hang on, more "Hotline Bling"! Are you sure the ring was chosen by your mother, and not by her fiancé, who went with one like yours because he didn't know another way to go? And even if your mother picked it out herself, perhaps with admiration for you and your taste, I'm hard pressed to see this as hurtful. (Annoying, maybe, but not unkind.)
Why not simply ask your mother if she and her husband-to-be can find an engagement ring that doesn't resemble yours so closely? Don't be operatic about it. Just tell her you don't want matching sparklers. If the shop is willing to ex change rings, it shouldn't be a big deal. If not, try to take it as a compliment.
Heightened SecurityI live in a New York City walk-up building, without a doorman or security cameras. It's hard to know everyone who lives in the building, and I am wary of letting in people who linger on the stoop or try to follow me in without my knowing whether they really live here. But the alternative is equally awkward: nasty "eye rolls" or confrontations with people who take my precaution as personal attacks. How should I handle this?
S.B., NEW YORK
Let me weigh in strongly here: It is much better — for your safety and that of everyone in the building � � for you to endure arched brows (and even snit fits) from strangers than let them waltz into your building.
It is awkward, for sure. But as you close the door behind you, say: "I'm sorry. I'm sure you live here and have every right to come in, but I don't recognize you. So for everyone's security, I am going to ask you to use your own key or buzz in." If you want to be neighborly, hang around and introduce yourself. That way, you'll know them the next time.
